The real marriage!
The blushing bride, the bold groom...37 years back they tied the knot. No prizes for guessing, my dad and mom as they celebrate their day of happiness ever since on Sept 15, every year. She was the typical mills and boons reader, who imagined her man to be tall, dark and handsome...and her surprise thereafter was endless... He was average in height (taking the liberty), handsome no doubt with oodles of humor and charisma. His letters were like a minute to minute journal, but she smiled with each of them. She was the new Army wife - who mastered the kitchen, social etiquette and the language with such grace. He invited guests over while she explored her cooking skills, yet presented a fabulous meal, and for that he appreciated in his own way. They had almost a decade apart, but they chatted more than friends. Were they similar? Am not really sure, but I know however imperfect they never gave up on each other.
Today on their anniversary, I speak my heart on the lessons I learnt watching them, on the sanctity of marriage. They cared, loved and leaned on each other. They protected, created rules for our well being. Silence and spoken words always came at the right place and right time - an art I am yet to master. They balanced the equation of parenting with one being the guide and the other being the friend. So when I look back and remember them, I only remember marriage being the most admired relationship, probably why I was so eager myself. Today I can say, no mistakes made there...
While I learnt to love, believe and support, watching you both, I am happy I have managed to learn some of my own lessons with my own mistakes that I made with the confidence you both gave me.
I have learnt that it is an equal partnership built on trust. There is nothing called mine and yours, its all 'ours'. Finance can be a deal breaker unless you believe that there are other things more important in life than a full wallet. Moments cherished will only extend your life. We are friends first and then husband and wife - makes our association stronger than life. We may hurt and be hurt but taking the first step does not hurt anyone's pride. Ambition is great as long as you take your family with you with your head on your shoulders always. There will be new risks, new aspirations, ideas, openness and flexibility will make life so much easier. Its easy to be there in the happy wave, but the test surfaces when you ride the rough wave together. Everyone can love each other, but respecting each other is only earned, lucky we arrived there!
While I strive very hard to always imbibe my learning's from you both, I also ensure that my new found lessons guide me too. I may make new decisions, create new boundaries in the unfamiliar, but always be assured these have the values and foundation that you both handed down to me.
Every year we have celebrated and we always try in some way or the other, but I am sure, I always fall short. Of course how could I...cause only they would know best what made their celebrations perfect, even if it was the perfect glance acknowledging the magic of this day!
Tomorrow I do hope I can be half as good a parent as you both have been, but I also know it will be possible with my husband by my side. Both our values together, will create new foundations for our kids, which we are sure will be something you both would be proud of. So here's to both of you- yesterday, today and tomorrow....am sure you know this, but your anniversary will always be in my days of happiness always
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