For my children!

Day 82 ..‪#‎100happydays‬ ‪#‎100daysofhappiness‬ – Children’s day saga 

After a hectic day with the kids, soaking in the excitement of Children’s day, I lay in bed and cherished that moment where they snuggled with me, their quick I love you followed by the line that melts all my exhaustion “Mamma every time I want you only to be my Mamma”, and somehow this comes to their mind on their own. Misty eyed I hug them and want that moment to just stand still. I find myself battling with the fear that they grow so quickly and there may be a day when they will not require me as much. Will they idolize me the way I idolize my mother? Definitely not, as my journey is a learning wheel everyday. I cherish that they find the love and admiration to appreciate my smallest gestures even when I am unable to perfect my culinary skills. I am fascinated when they feel the best moments with them have been a simple game of chase around the house or perhaps hide and seek. Our uncontrollable laughter’s over silly jokes become a feature in their special journal. They have seen me at my worst and angry best, but they never judge me and that gives me more responsibility. They worry seeing my not so bright expression, even as I battle to smile with all my might on some days. While we all will learn and evolve together, I will be blessed if along the way, I can be their best friend and mother all in one heartbeat.

On Children’s day, my 20 point philosophy will guide my kids in this fascinating journey of life!

• Innocence and childhood are often short-lived, but the secret is to keep it alive at any stage of your life and have fun.
• It’s beautiful to feel like a princess as long as you know that only you will have to save yourself and not any prince.
• Idols are great inspirations, but ensure you choose your idol that epitomizes character, integrity, reality, self worth and humility. Your idol may not be a celebrity or anyone famous but if you can admire them enough to aspire for their zeal for life, then you are on the right path supported by your own vision.
• While you bask in that dream, always stay grounded in your values, humility, self confidence and self respect.
• Give yourself wings to fly but don’t forget about your loved ones. It’s great to be ambitious and successful but pointless if you have no one to share these achievements with.
• Discipline is important but see life through a creative and passionate lens, as only your heart will unfold the best opportunities.
• Savor every second and live life like there is no tomorrow
• It’s fabulous to be sentimental and always connected to your emotions. In case being practical is your approach, then life will almost always seem easier to accept and cherish.
• I may ‘almost always’ over clad you in my maternal worries often tampering with your fashion statement. Let the heart strike the perfect fashion chord and your clothes simply reflect your attitude. As you grow you will explore your own signature, but until then let me be your guardian angel.
• You will have choices to make, but ensure you take responsibility of these choices.
• Academics are great but balance it with extra curricular in the same stride.
• You may not always get to lead, but when you do, lead in belief. In case you follow then always remember that the shadow of support has more worth than most people understand.
• No matter what the situation is, only truth will thrive.
• Care with all your heart, but be strong enough to nurse a broken heart too
• Times have changed and so have experiences between your time and mine, but our values remain the same with every passing generation.
• The world is not such a safe place any more but living in fear will shorten your life further.
• There are many traditions that you may want to oppose or break away from, but while you do that ensure you have full knowledge of the tradition and can react in rationale than impulse.
• Money is important, but not a factor to determine the course of your life and your actions.
• Being selfless is not attaining perfection, so cherish life and make it meaningful.
• Generosity and sharing cannot be forced but definitely nurtured. Make it a way of life, then the effort will not arise.

My thoughts and ideals are not promises, neither are they lessons. They are my humble learning’s that I have been fortunate to explore. While you both will have your own discoveries and mistakes, I do hope these can ease your ‘adventures of life in an imperfect world’.

On Children’s Day, as a parent, I vow that I do not want to perfect my children, but just want to perfect my relationship with them.

Festival of lights, not sound and smoke!

My words reach you and I am thrilled,
so here's a plea that we must build,
Loving words that I will share,
Heartfelt and true, with all my care.
Festivities are here, celebrations are many,
Smile from your heart, not with your penny.
Prayers, sweets, lamps and cheer,
Reduce crackers and chase the fear.
Our animals are sad, on our happy day,
That's not a fair celebration, in any way.
If not just animals you choose to care,
Remember the smoke is here to dare.
Our little kids, will grow up too,
With more heart aches and memories being few.
So family and friends far and wide,
With love and smiles, lets all abide!

Have a bright and cheerful Diwali! 

Return If Possible!

Day 81.. ‪#‎100happydays‬ ‪#‎100daysofhappines‬ In sadness yet we smile!

We grew like twins, my rock forever. We amused each other and protected endlessly. We cherished and lived like there was no tomorrow and am glad that's what we did. It was short, but fulfilling to think, that you made life count, without regrets and touched hearts in more ways than I can ever imagine. Today, we are surrounded by people whom you cared for and is overwhelming to hear the emotions that string so many stories. In a moment the world changed for us, but time stood still and with every passing day, as we continue to build memories, we are thrilled that you live with us in our hearts to see so many milestones!

A thousand words wont bring you back, I know because I tried,
A thousand tears wont bring you back, I know because I cried!
- Kily Dunbar

Eleven years have passed, you are a memory for many even before Facebook had memory timelines. I have said it before and say it again, you will always be my 'today' everyday! We have grown from black and white to color, but in my heart I want to hold on to the 'endlessness' we shared in black and white.

While I will always be grateful for our time together, I know I am just being human when I say... I wish you were here. I read this somewhere and found it apt. It said "RIP means Rest In Peace" though my heart says "Return If Possible".

Every day we learn something new
We cherish and believe it all to be true
You taught me about hope and cheer
To live happily without fear!
In my heart you shine every day
Every second that's what I pray
So much of you I see in my kids today
Wish you could meet them and play.

I normally celebrate life in my posts and will continue to do that. But today felt like a break day, when you just feel its fine to just hope!

So here's to loving, living, losing and believing that with every passing day life teaches us more, but we always find the strength in what and who we are taking along! For a brother, another year gone by, holding your hands and smiling everyday!

Down memory lane in Madikeri

Day 80.. ‪#‎100daysofhappiness‬ ‪#‎100happydays‬

Her eyes lit up as she spoke describing her smallest memories. She became a child again as we entered her town of nostalgia. She soaked in pride as she understood that she had brought 'home' her daughter and grand daughters to her forever home. This place always featured in her must visits while she guided everyone who enquired about Coorg. Then how could we not see her slice of childhood that witness her evolve from an infant through her school and college years till she was married out of this place and became an army wife. She described in joy and we listened in pride. We were honored to see such charm of a place that gave this woman her joy.. The woman I admire and love with all my heart... my mother.

There is always something so charming about history, heritage, stories of an era gone by and so much more. What makes it more enticing is when those stories belong to your mother and you start connecting all the dots that she shared with you recollecting her stories of the time she was growing up.

So had my day yesterday going down memory lane.. three generations comprising my mother, me and my two daughters pacing each location and travelling through time attempting to relive our stories.

You would call it Madikeri but we fondly remember it as Mercara. We have been there so many times before but each time we experience a new sentiment. This time as we drove into this quaint yet bustling town we gathered that just like cities this little town is buzzing too. Shops have gotten bigger and so have the brands. Streets are no longer silent, empty stretches of green lush, where mum used to rush her way through to get to school, before the morning bell. It now houses shops, clusters of homes, traffic and development.

The 5 acre coffee land that housed mums home is now modern without the tiled roof - yet as we stood in front of it, we caught ourselves listening to mum telling us about the house layout, reminiscing about the plantation made by my grandfather, the tree that seemed to be my aunts favorite spot and so much more. We were in awe of my grandfather's planning and forethought as he constructed that house large enough for homing a big family. The famous Gaddige which is the Raja's tomb spot, has evolved from a large playground for their fun evenings of 7 stones, to a beautiful park that the Government is attempting to create and protect. Gardens are laid but weeds are disturbing the well laid plans. Work is in progress so we are hopeful the results will be magical.

We further traced the route towards her school and college to be amused with sprawling campuses. The kids were thrilled to bask in so many stories of their favorite Naanu with curiosity around classes where she studied , the famous tree where she took her breaks amongst others. As we walked down memory lane we didn't forget to stop at the scenic Raja Seat where the gardens were planned by my grandad - the horticulture expert of the yesteryears . In addition we tried to relive innocent pleasures of the struggling toy train which chugs slower than a leisure walk but has the same thrill. Next we treaded to the fort which overlooks the jail which bring up so many possible stories of people there - their crimes, the punishments, their families and their sadness.

As the three generations continued our journey of blessings we drove past the sprawling golf course towards Taj Vivanta where we chanced upon one of the most spectacular visuals - a scenery so calm, yet deep, green yet lush, scenic yet dangerous. Decked high up as we looked down at the valley we applauded development and joy of such large chains like Taj, Mahindras etc who continue to offer the magic of Coorg by complimenting the warmth and hospitality of the charming home stays that have sprawled across Coorg. In this endeavour I was glad that we are part of this tourist revolution with our home stay near Siddapur which will be another story to tell.

So as we cherish our memories I urge you all to escape from modernity and look for the secrets that made our parents the wonderful people that they are. We don't need fairy tales or make believe histories when we have so much to learn from our generations gone by. So don't forget to relive, recreate and imagine while you appreciate simplicity and pure joy. It was our day of magic well spent.

Our dash of cheer

We have a birthday today!

She is our Bengali connection ..who blends both cultures with such grace. She has been in all our moments of celebrations and sadness. She is a fabulous mother, wife, daughter in law, sister in law, aunt, friend and so much more. Sukanya Sen or Minty as we fondly call her, is 'our dash of cheer' in this large family where moods and vibes can swing in any direction. A quick phone call or message is always there on any ocassion. She thrives with enthusiasm and shows her utmost support to moments that need all the mood lifts. She has her worries but knows how to approach life with ease and patience. She seems casual but places importance to relationships. She bonds with ease and radiates in belonging.

She is spontaneous to joke and quick to laugh. Lively and warm.. she is often the heart of our gatherings. She adds to our madness and mingles with charm. With cousins or elders she is adored always.
So on your birthday Minty here s wishing you oodles of love happiness and all the success from the whole cuzz buzz gang who misses you here in Bangalore. Much love n hugs

Bond of togetherness!

Day 79..‪#‎100daysofhappiness‬ ‪#‎100happydays‬

It was a cherishable day 10 years back, meeting him! A tall, charmingly fit, with a calm glance, he sat and waited over coffee, while I rushed in to make my ‘meet the boy’ time! 10 years later, am still grateful that our coffee conversations since that day, have only got better, lengthier, more heartfelt and easier. My post today is about the birthday boy, Arya, who is my husband, friend and every other relationship that is hard to define!

To describe him aptly I may struggle, but I do hope to do justice to define “my bond of togetherness”. He has a calm and patient demeanor, but his mind keeps him restless with ‘what next’. He has aspirations that are motivating and the resilience to pursue his dreams. He understands struggle and builds it with hard work. He juggles the world of IT and e-commerce with the charm of plantations. 

He has ambitions but balances with spirituality. He speaks comfortably on any subject but is passionate about ‘man’ toys like cars, guns and his bar – it’s almost his soothing mantra. Bold in style and different in attire, his fashion sense is remarkable. Organized and detailed, planned to the last ‘p’, he plans with care. Cleanliness driven, he pursues with a single minded focus, that home or office, it’s hard to miss a spot. His chosen silence is often mistakened as arrogance. He understands diplomacy and speaks in comfort.

He loves his experiments in the kitchen and often whips something that makes our taste buds tingle. He fears ‘germs and disease’ that the hand sanitizer has been his doted companion. In care and worry, a hello may be followed by a heartfelt advice like “wash your hands”. He cares with all his heart and worries on matters of health. Fitness is a crucial regime that is marked on his daily routine. While he loves that quota of non veg now and then, he savors his veggies in daily meals with balance and variety. He balances tradition, obligation and expectations in harmony and understands the sensibilities of life. His approach often seems formal, that when he unwinds, he is usually a surprise. He cherishes small joys and makes memories with simple pleasures. He appreciates little thoughts and suggests with care, that complaints get lost in compliments. He battles with work hours, that affect his health sadly, but never complains of the hardships. He does get angry but calms down quickly. He accomplishes significantly but believes in utmost modesty.

He is a doting husband, loving father, good son, son in law, concerned brother and a genuine friend. As a husband, he is my rock. As a father, he balances discipline and fun with care. He has seen life and its many shades, that it has taught him the ‘joy in balance and care’. He loves with all his heart and is cautious for his loved ones. He adapts and embraces change seamlessly that learning with him everyday is such a joy. Our mindsets on so many aspects may be different, but he makes it easy to reach a common ground. He has an open mind and is very supportive of all that matters to me. He loves the joys in new geographies around the world, that seeing them through my eyes fascinates him as well. He is very skeptical about social media but supports my joy in this.

Everyday, as I count my blessings, I am thrilled that we found each other. We can make each other mad and happy all in one breath and that’s what makes our definition of marriage so exciting. So on your birthday Arya, here’s wishing you with all my heart only happiness, love and blessing. I am sure you will always be a modest, genuine and a loving human being. May we always learn from each other and build each other’s dreams. I hope we always find the strength to move ahead together, and teach the kids the values we grew up with. May every birthday be more exciting than the other.

Tea parties for the fabulous childhood album!

Day 78..‪#‎100daysofhappiness‬ ‪#‎100happydays‬

We have all grown in this extremely helpful and sometimes 'too helpful' society where advise, tips are showered in abundance. So when you get married, the tips are handy, but the good news is while dealing with another adult you can always fight and argue your way through. But with motherhood, no one ever tells you the full story till you are soaked in it, and often grappling but still want to appear confident. The arguments and tears are not your weapons here. You have to live up to the expectation, when your kids say - "my mamma knows everything". Those are simple words but strangely pressurizing.

In one household, dealing with 2 different personalities, who are siblings, thankfully sisters, with patterns that are both similar and opposite. Knowing that I am responsible for the way these two lives will shape up, makes my world spin. If one is clear and outspoken, the other is diplomatic. If one is sentimental, the other is practical. If one sobs at my so called 'temper' the other questions in doubt. The ideology of 'done it once will be a breeze the second time', just doesn't apply. If folks say, you have passed the sleepless nights phase, it just gets simpler, then they are hugely mistaken ed. As they are growing, questions are countless, which need to be backed with accurate and thoughtful answers, value system is just getting adjusted, set an example phase has activated and so much more. So while I am still learning the ropes of motherhood everyday, with my quota of impatience and learning, I try to balance and rejoice in their innocence with an occasional tea party (more a juice party) with all their friends and do hope that my kids will always see the value in discipline and fun.

So we had a wonderful time planning together, the menu, arrangements, guest list and activities. The idea was to have a picnic tea party, so balcony had to be the perfect setting. Paucity of space was not going to be a limitation, it just had to be as much fun for all 11 kids! Naturally the menu had all the favorites like cupcakes, strawberry jelly, sandwiches, fryums, cotton candy, popcorn so healthy options were far and few but the good news is - I got busy trying my hand at most of it. Some of the kids brought in some yum, to add to the variety and delicacies, which we relished. The kids enjoyed and that made the entire day absolutely worth it. Watching them play, share, care, rejoice, acknowledge, appreciate and retain that pinch of mischief, teaches us to learn so much in life. As adults we get so absorbed in sometimes several petty issues that the sheer charm and beauty of life is often missed.

These kids are some of their best friends and I am so glad they have each other to grow up with. Each of them come with similar values, backgrounds and ideas, the kind I am thrilled my kids are surrounded by. So while I continue to explore my journey of motherhood with them, I look forward to always bringing in as much as 'fun' as we can in our journey of growing up.
I am thrilled to bring these kids in my 100 days, as even a 3 year old can teach me as much as someone who is 100, so that's what makes life so thrilling. Thank you mums for sending the kids over!

View from the outside!

Day 77…#100daysofhappiness #100happydays

In all my tributes, I have realized that I have never shared with you anything about my roots. My name says it all; I am a Coorg with a culture and history so diverse it’s difficult to track it to absolute accuracy. Having recently celebrated our festival Kailpodh with friends, I realized inking my words on my hometown, was something that had to feature in my 100 days. Unlike the folks who are born and brought up there, my views of Coorg as an army kid are often shaded with influences of pan India excitement and the sounds of the city. So in humor I always refer to my views as “View from the outside”. 

We are referred to as descendants of Greeks, challengers of Tipu Sultan and witnesses of a strong political journey from being the state of Kodagu to a district called Coorg (as named by the British). Primarily agriculturists or planters as we are referred, Coorg is popularly known as the Scotland of India or Kashmir of South India. With an abundance of greenery, glamorized by coffee, pepper and paddy, the landscape in Coorg is nothing less than magical.  There is serenity in the midst of the roads, which are lined by coffee and pepper plants on either side, complimented by the sights and sounds of the quaint hills. There is so much inspiration in this setting that from a literary standpoint, books and topics of interest will flow uninterrupted. Today Coorg is a tourist hotspot, mushrooming with home stays, adventure activities, treks, animal attractions and so much more. Even with the tourists flanking there, Coorg has retained its charm. The silence is joyous to the city dweller, but too much silence for an extended time can awaken the restless mind, just as it does to me!

We have family names recognizable anywhere in the world by another Coorg. The society is battling between being conservative and adapting a liberal approach. We have freedom fighters, sportsmen, actors, and many more hailing from Coorg. We have legends, we have created records, but one thing that stays etched in everyone’s mind is – Pandi curry. What was once the secret ingredient is now in everyone’s kitchen shelves – the famous black vinegar called Kachampuli. Well if you are not familiar, then here’s to a preview of a clan that is charming, good looking, extremely hospitable yet caught up in our own arrogance. We are the Coorgs or Kodavas, as we would like to call it. We are contributors to the global economy with our crops and produce. We have seen Coorg shaping from a state to a district under various political influences, and to this day, we demand our stately rights. We are from Karnataka but something tells us to never accept that we are South Indians. We have a language that speaks but doesn’t write, the sounds of which seem to be a blend of all the South Indian languages.

We are planters with issues that revolve around coffee crops, rainfall, labor but we will never fall short in our hospitality. Folks here are engaged all through the year with various schedules in coffee growing, each working in a pace that comforts them. The abundance of space, the open fresh air, clutter free roads, small towns, and closely knit community often finds the Coorg settlers disapproving of cities like Bangalore, though Mysore stands to be a favorite town spot. We may have differences with family dramas over property disputes, but as a community, we always stand united. We make India proud with the way we have reinvented passion and glamour in India’s national sport – hockey. The annual family tournaments have created much buzz and flare. We thrive in a wild ecosystem and have found our peace and harmony with the flora and fauna. Animals especially elephants, wild boars and some members of the cat family, show immense interest in our plantations and the water bodies we create, that any damage during this passage seems to get soaked up in conversations.

While Coorg food has been chosen as a must try by various cultures, you must indulge in the rice based dishes served with a host of finger licking veg and non veg dishes in most home stays or at weddings, where the mood is often abundance of food and alcohol. Weddings are simple with traditions that can be embraced with ease, backed by the power of blessings.  Our cleansing rituals are with the River Kaveri. Traditional attire has been in awe across various circles, with the graceful and comfortable sari’s pleated backwards accessorized with fascinating Coorg jewellery, complimented by the stately and warrior like black/ white robe with the grand dagger. The outfits stand out and have become popular fashion observations. A community so small, we are often related to each other in more ways than one, hence we are more clannish than we realize. Weapons are our pride and owning one has been a right, exceptional to this celebrated community. Our homes are distinct, with ancestral respects adorning the ambience. Festivals are few, but celebrated in grandeur. Prayers, food, alcohol, and fireworks mark most of them. Social calendars mark the ongoing weddings, funerals and naming ceremonies that keep folks shuttling between venues across Coorg.

My parent’s generation has been remarkable in the way they have nurtured and cared for everything that is significant about Coorg. For us, we have grown with one foot in Coorg and the other in the city. One generation has witnessed this change, so what will transpire with future generations is hard to say. Having said that, the spirit, charm, belonging that we have being a Coorg will always remain with us and ensure that we continue to be the ‘protectors of a culture so rare’. While we will strive to pass this on to future generations, a world of our own, we do hope that they always see the value in our traditions and culture and make them their own.

So here’s to a community that leads with character, cherishes with a heart and radiates the glory of a hidden heritage. I may never seem to be the perfect Coorg, but in my heart, I aspire to be one! In my journey of learning, rediscovering my roots, gives me a preview to a life that I will always admire.

Entrepreneurs driven by passion!

Day 76..‪#‎100daysofhappiness‬ ‪#‎100happydays‬

My headline today ideally should be - Look out for the grand finale of Season 4 for CTC – The Corporate Talent Championship (CTC) – an initiative of Engage4more, started in 2012, is recognized as the world’s largest inter-corporate platform in the performing arts category. You might think this is a press release or a corporate plug in coming on the day of the finale. But coincidentally it’s also the birthday of the Founder and Director of Engage4more – Nishant Parashar, India’s first and only integrated Staff engagement and employer branding solutions provider. My tribute today is to the birthday boy, whose journey has been exceptional and such a motivation, so naturally he will feature in my 100 days.

Our journey of madness began at Symbiosis, when being lanky seemed fit. While we were all there to achieve greater accolades, being playful and soaking in college was never amiss. Away from our homes, we knew we had each other to lean on. We listened with dedication but questioned for a better foundation. We chose careers with passion or sometimes just remarkable positions. Looking back, while I was obsessed with PR, he was the only other person unwilling to let go of his joy in events. Fourteen years later, who knew that our journey would be so memorable? He had always envisioned his entrepreneurial charter and pursued his career with all his heart.

His ideas are unique with passion in abundance. He is a visionary with simplicity and humility. He believes in hard work and excels with warmth. He is a leader in strategies and an affectionate team player. He understands struggle and values independence. He is a dedicated father, husband, son, brother and friend. He is part of a large corporate sage, but grounded to the joy of reality. He cares with all his heart and shares just as much. He has his hands full, but always steals a moment to keep his madness alive.

I have seen him evolve as a person and am thrilled with what he has shaped himself to be. He owes his success to his passion and the support of his family. We have had the craziest times, with much laughter, tears and support, and everyday he inspires me in more ways than he can imagine. Dreams come true and I am glad it was his, as no one deserved it more than him. Professionally I am always thrilled to refer and guide, as I am sure that I am speaking about someone whose dedication and reliability is unquestionable.

So on your birthday, here’s wishing you oodles of happiness and blessings always. May you always remain grounded and be the kindest person I know. May you always find your moments of madness and have enough reason to share that laughter. As a young leader, I hope you always pursue ideas that radiate with passion, inspiration and dedication. As a husband, son and father, may you always be the rock that they deserve. Happy Birthday once again and wishing you, Engage4more, CTC all the very best!

My forever role model!

Day 75...‪#‎100daysofhappiness‬ ‪#‎100happydays‬

A year gone by...we have had many laughs, tears and even better memories with milestones to cherish. We have seen the best and perhaps the worst. We have lost lives but gained hearts. We have seen relationships change but have only the best around us. This day has always been almost magical since you were a child, that I do hope I always keep this magic alive.

Our relationship has evolved in so many ways. While on one hand I continue to learn from you as your daughter and on the other we are best friends with the maturity to hold our individuality with the freedom to make decisions on our own terms. We are both Virgos, alike and different on so many counts, but love each other enough to embrace these differing perspectives. I have grown admiring you for your practical and balanced outlook to life, strength to smile at challenging circumstances and love life with all your passion. Your ability to connect and stay connected, has given our life so many relationships that would have otherwise been amiss. I was lucky to grow with a mum who blended her exceptionally modern outlook with tradition and values. You are my role model and the reason I express today. You have taught me the importance of relationships, emotions and appreciation. You have shown me the importance of self respect, selflessness and generosity. You are strong yet compassionate, firm yet loving and disciplined yet adjusting. I have learnt that life is short, but experiences are many. Your positivity has shown me that optimism is an outlook that only the heart can see. I understand the importance of celebration and small gestures that stay with us forever.

Today we have so much to laugh and cry about, but it becomes easier, because we always have each other. You have been my role model, who perfected being a daughter, sister, wife, mother, mother-in-law, friend and grandmother. You are my guide, friend, mentor, critic and mother. At the risk of sounding possessive, I want to say, before being a grandmother to my kids, you will always be my mother. Our time together in and out of town, is my definition of 'happiness', doing the things we like, open honest conversations that keep me grounded, laughter that rejuvenates and advise that guides.

Mommy on your birthday, here's wishing you all the reasons to be only happy, wings to see the world, good health and abundance of love from family and friends. We love you Nimmi Belliappa

The grandest relationship!

Day 74..‪#‎100daysofhappiness‬ ‪#‎100happydays‬

There is a reason this is the grandest relationship - grandparents and grand kids. Two days have gone by but writing this in my 100 days seemed so imperative. Am not sure about how and why it happens but perhaps this is inexplicable for me at this stage of life.

For me this relationship has been a bit distant since I didn't have such strong bonds with my grandparents. So when I became a mother, I was sure the biggest gift my kids will get will be there lifetime bond with their grandparents. As I continue to learn every day, I am thrilled that to unravel the beauty of this bond through my kids. I have learnt that this bond honestly epitomizes magical, unconditional love. Its the one relationship that understands the value of time and patience, and ensures its available in abundance. Here generosity is not measured monetarily but instead with quality time, simple gestures, sprinkle of madness and a lifetime of memories.

Grandparents are the link to everything that is normal yet exceptional, grounded yet pride. Before all the technology overload, relationships were about care, face to face conversations, lineages that could continue with generations, that is most often passed on with these 'grand' relationships.
The beauty in the bond is the madness, innocence and joy that guides this relationship. The overdose of affection often has the kids basking in spoils and glory, but this purity makes it hard to dampen any of it. While the stories, songs and drama is a daily affair, the balance is seen in the small gestures, rounds of discipline which are often cushioned and handled with such care, an area my parenting skill needs further perfection.

Am thrilled that the kids get the 'grandness of parents' to look upto and grow with such rounded dignity. I have seen them understand values, family bonds, respect and honest love in this relationship. The great news is they do this in all their innocence without being judged, or hurried up to grow in perfection and become little adults, which we parents often get lost in. In this journey I do miss that my kids never got to meet my dad, but they seem to get to know a lot of him and that makes me proud. So while I continue to celebrate grandparents day, here's wishing all grandparents a great year ahead. May we grow to be the 'perfect grandparents' as you all have been.

So here's to the people who showed me this grandness Nimmi Belliappa(Naanu), Meena Appaiah (Thai) and Nanda Appaiah (Thatha) you all have given Tamara and Tanaaya the best relationships and idols. Thank you for being you!

The homemakers' challenge

Day 73..‪#‎100daysofhappiness‬ ‪#‎100happydays‬

This is actually yesterday’s story spoken today but it’s definitely not an after thought. Yesterday Sept 1, was Women Entrepreneur’s Day. Not many folks knew about this, as it was definitely not publicized as much as the latest murder mystery. Looking back, my journey has transitioned from my professional stints to being a homemaker, freelancer and then an entrepreneur. In retrospect this journey has so much in common that a lot of folks fail to recognize this. It’s largely attributed to the wonders of ‘multitasking’ a specialty in women and a rarity in men. While I do hope not to make this a feminist issue, the recognizable pattern is so fascinating that inking this down in my 100 day was imperative. After all, it does define my journey too.

In our professional saga, we ideate, create, take goal oriented decisions, lead teams with mixed expertise and strengths, deal with seniors of mixed persona, build strategies that set us apart and are rewarded with salaries amongst others. As entrepreneurs, we do all the above in addition to taking risks on any idea, innovate and plan finances to back the same ideas with the hope of driving your brand and reeling in the profits. All these are done in an office setting, in the realm of timelines, corporate policies, governance and frameworks.

Now imagine the scenario of a homemaker, where the same elements are just packaged differently. She hurls up strategies and ideas to effectively run her home, leads her team of helpers, who are often more challenging without the feather of education and experience. She plans the home finances to the last rupee with the hope that she manages to save some for her personal indulgences. She ideates and takes decisions to keep her kids motivated with creativity in food, activities, discipline and studies, all of which are crucial goals. This is one area which can get really complicated as she is responsible for the people she has created. She is a wife, mother, daughter, daughter-in-law, friend and so much more.

She deals with her in laws, parents and relatives who are seniors with mixed persona too, which are usually more complicated since they are bound by personal relationships, society and respect. Deadlines are plenty during her tenure, but no fixed hours. She is mostly on a 24 hour schedule, without that Sunday holiday or the much availed and enjoyed paid leave. Even on a vacation, do check if her mind is completely relaxed! You will be surprised, it almost seems never ending. A cup of coffee with friends becomes a planned activity, far and rare. At the end of it all, without the salary or the profits, and many times thankless but they look for motivation in adoration by family, the simple smiles and in most cases the luxury of ‘me’ time.

In this time of independence, women have combined the roles of being professionals / entrepreneurs and homemakers, which adds to the challenge but at the same time has opened avenues of support systems. At every stage, the challenges are perhaps beyond what we can imagine. While the pressure, frustration, anxiety and stress are all so exhausting, the results, joy and a sense of fulfillment make it so rewarding. With the advent of social media, support groups, several boundaries have disappeared and perhaps maintaining our sanity has eased.

Social etiquette's compel us to engage in conversations that begin with questions like”what do you do?” or joke about “what do you do the whole day?” The response often is the basis of an unwanted judgment. So the next time, lets try to embrace rather than question, appreciate rather than criticize and respect rather than undermine.

On this note, cheers to women who make life count in more ways than anyone can imagine!

Inspirations...

Day 72…‪#‎100daysofhappiness‬ ‪#‎100happydays‬

Bosses, clients, associates, peers – the professional saga!

Popularly known as the pillars dominating our professional aura defining our journey from being employed to independent consulting, I am thrilled to always seek inspiration from real life leaders whom I had the privilege to work with. While some were bosses, mentors, associates and peers, it has been exhilarating to always be reminded of facets that are enriching to build my passion for PR and writing. It’s a fascinating journey where you can love them, hate them or possibly tolerate them. Attributing my sanity, there are chances I have experienced all three emotions at various points of my career towards these people, but essentially, I have been fortunate to build and establish inspiring relationships with each of them. I have worked directly or indirectly with them and it has been an impressionable stint, encouraging me to dedicate this tribute to these individuals who never cease to amaze me.

As mentors, I have seen the level of patience, insights and clarity with which they ensure knowledge sharing is at par. As bosses, the choice of leadership definitely varies from authoritarian to being a buddy, but each ones effectiveness and productivity is not compromised. They teach yet they inculcate independence, they praise and take you to task all in the same breath, they show the power of unity and responsibility while balancing it at times with lack of reason-ability. They will share the funniest jokes but will also be angered within a second. They may not always remember work life balance and sometimes have the most unreasonable deadlines, but they teach you to challenge yourself and create new benchmarks. As associates and peers, they will be ready to give you that healthy competition, be dependable and perhaps join you in boss bashing sessions that often take place after a grilling day. As clients, we get to see them work from new perspectives, negotiate on financials and deadlines and raise the bar of efficiency to a different level. Working with global counterparts, makes me appreciate all folks of Indian origin a lot more.

As much as I have loved all my moments with each of them, I have not just learnt, performed, ideated, created, shared and rejoiced but also cried, angered and been disappointed at some moments. I believe we learn every day and hence I am assured that I remain human when I experience all the emotions in varied balances. Without individual characterization, I am able to write with such liberty. But given their entire exceptional outlook to perfection and eye for detail, it makes my post all the more challenging.

So for me, this journey has been about living and loving my words while tuning it to perfection. It has been about realizing the power of human interaction and clear and concise communication. It has been about seeing the finer points without missing the larger picture. It has been about strategies that matter with goals that can be defined. It has been about testing my limits and when necessary to accept defeat and move on to aspire for greater things.

As professionally exceptional as they are, beyond the routine, they are dog lovers that challenge a cause, proud fathers and grandfathers with the simplest gestures, accomplished mothers and home makers with a passion to travel or enthusiasts pursuing their hobbies with utmost passion. They thrive on memories and sentiments as much as I do.

So through this tribute I want to thank each of you for giving me an outlook of maturity and inspiration. Directly or indirectly, knowingly or unknowingly, you all have been the reason for my passion for this industry. For reasons known to me, I may never be able to pursue PR in all its glory, but my journey has been fulfilling due to all your contributions. With teacher’s day round the corner, I am compelled to bring this out in my 100 days for being ‘teachers that inspire me everyday’.

Ps: Photos used have been taken from facebook due to unavailability of photographs at my end!

Harmony Homes in Kammanahatton!

Day 71#100daysofhappiness ‪#‎100happydays‬

If someone asks me, I am a true Bangalorean, and an even better – Kammanahatton citizen – a name that a friend coined as a tribute to the area that evolved with me. So while my heart always remained at our home in Jal Vayu Vihar, we did build our life here in Harmony Homes and grew to love it everyday– an apartment complex that has seen some significant milestones for me and my family. It’s been more than 10 years, and I would the think, it’s the right time to pen this tribute from an early resident of Harmony Homes.

Brick by brick, floor by floor, we saw this complex come up. It was the beginning of tall skyscraper apartments (at that time) with modern amenities for our neighborhood, where long time communities like Jal Vayu Vihar thrived on being simple, safe and truly an owner’s pride. Modern amenities like club house, swimming pool, kids play area, firm security system with cameras, a functional Centrex system, full power back up, were all luxuries back in the day but necessity today with every developer offering this with probably a lot more. The glory of being on the 8th floor with an abundance of ventilation and views that are unparalleled, while being located in the hub of all activity, yet undisturbed by the chaos of the surroundings, continues to assure us of our soundness in our decision to live in Harmony Homes. What makes it more remarkable is always having the sense of neighborly care and concern yet our chosen privacy. The residents have grown to shoulder each other, irrespective of caste, creed, religion and status. With a deep rooted value system, Harmony Homes has understood the need to recognize and celebrate occasions of importance with cheer, tradition and respect. The ample participation from most residents makes every occasion joyous and commendable.

The children have developed a sense of togetherness with their daily park rituals, the occasional workshops, the swimming chaos, the grand performances at festival celebrations, the annual bazaar, play dates or the fun birthday parties. Neighbors have grown to depend on each other evolving as friends and many almost as families. While kids have a promising and memorable time, the residents have their share of laughter, differences, insightful conversations and much more. The changing committees, bylaws, security, staff and even residents, has not disturbed the very essence of this community. As a community, it’s fascinating to see all the residents complying cheerfully with initiatives of importance like the earth hour, waste segregation and disposal, clean surroundings or matters of health benefits like yoga, swimming, and gym schedules amongst others. With the passage of time, minor glitches like security lapses, leakages are all bound to happen. External factors like the never ending flyover work, the dangerous potholes continue to be fielded but unfortunately at the mercy of our political fraternity. Several communities are struggling with their attempt to arrive at coherent decisions, which might happen at Harmony Homes too, but what makes it remarkable is that it’s done in true harmony.

For me, living here at Harmony Homes has shown me so many reasons to appreciate small things in life. We have had our own set of battles to face, but that walk in the apartment premises with the strong perennial breeze brushing your face, which messes your most perfectly set hair, or our loud laughter over the silliest reasons in the evenings in the company of friends in the park almost like a laughter yoga therapy session make even the most routine task seem negligible. I began my love for running in this premise, which gives me the platform in the early hours of the mornings to ace those 17 rounds of Harmony Homes with an aspiration to grow the distance. We made this house our home with care as a family. With mum living a floor above, I am always thrilled with the infinite access I get to share the smallest moments with her – my best friend. Along with the comfort of being able to be there for each other, the joy with which our kids are growing with their grandmother to guide, share, care and love at any time, makes them well rounded and probably more privileged, an area where I always missed out on.

In my 100 days it would be incomplete if I missed cherishing the community that gives me a reason to be thankful everyday. I am thrilled my kids are growing in an environment that balances their outlook and is conducive to their physical, social and emotional growth. As a family, we are grateful that we have a home that we made with our own taste, aspirations and charm and the joy of friends who give us reason to look forward to ‘that tinkle of madness and dependability’. With every passing year, I am thrilled that my address is Harmony Homes!

Memories in stone! Home is where the heart is..

Day 70..‪#‎100daysofhappiness‬ ‪#‎100happydays‬

Long post alert, but its difficult to contain a writer when she is describing her perfect home!

I grew up, so did my locality, but this community remained the way it was 25 years back. I still recollect being the main force behind our move into Jal Vayu Vihar (JVV). A pristine community, large enough to get lost but personal enough to feel secure! We had come to visit my uncle and in a flash I had my heart set here, which till date has never left the premises. I was willing to wake up earlier than the other kids and sit in the van which made Jal Vayu as the first pick up point and the last drop point, but there was no looking back for me and my family.

Primarily an Airforce and Navy community with largely retired residents, this community has retained its decorum despite the changes in its surroundings with Kammanhalli getting more commercialized. As you enter it feels like a solace in the middle of madness – that’s the feeling you would get amidst the low rise stone buildings and an abundance of greenery. Envisioned to cater to the smallest needs of its residents, this community of 540 apartments has its own shopping complex, beauty salon, post office, community hall, badminton court, the defense canteen, school premises, MI room, children’s play areas, gymnasium, library amongst others. This colony has now evolved with its commercial setting and is making lucrative use of modifications in its boundary walls with renting of retail outlets and the most noticeable change – increasing number of professionals as tenants and owners. What began with Maruti 800’s back in the 90’s now sees the more suave and sought after cars parked here. Homes with small windows now have modifications that were previously unimaginable – some done legally and few illegally, but reflective of the owner’s pride. With many changes come several issues, which often take time to gain acceptance. Prior to the email arena, the issues were definitely noticeably lesser, but now in this day and age, the community group seems to stay active with a host of ideas and issues, which make it fascinating to see all heads coming together to drive the efforts of this ‘legendary’ community to perfection. There are the odd elements that can make the charm of the community a complete nightmare but thankfully the very essence and character of JVV is so grounded that it remains unwaivered. It is a landmark, amidst so many giants.

The strength of this community is in the relationships it fosters amongst the residents. I have had the privilege of building my closest bonds with friends who are definitely ‘my friends for life’ Back then, evenings were about playing the craziest games like 7 stones, hide and seek or hoping to get a chance at badminton. Festivals were celebrated in closeness and grandeur. Stepping out of our homes within the colony late at night always had our minds at peace with the safety this community brought us. Today with changing times, kids perceive evening activities differently but safety and celebration remains unchanged. The senior citizens feel secure and cared for with the dedication of committed residents who are a part of Ashwasan.

My forever friends are all here. So today, on the eve of my dear friend Ronita’s birthday, I write this piece about what home has been for me. While so far I have given you a description which probably sounded like a marketing pitch but it’s hard to describe ideal with lesser words. So for me home in Jal Vayu has been memories that last a lifetime, relationships that we take along, calmness that promises me the peace I deserve and joy that tells me how privileged I am. My many firsts have been here with milestones in school, college, post graduation, a professional footprint and welcoming the thrill of marriage. It is here; I cherished relationships, strengthened family bonds and grew as a person. I learnt that a mother can be your best friend too, and that's the perfection my mum achieved. So essentially, Jal Vayu Vihar for me has been my lifetime! Today there are many skyscrapers with a lot of modern amenities and advanced in technology, but JVV draws me like no other in its simplicity, cheer and heart rendering nostalgia. I know my mum has her heart at JVV too. Don’t you Nimmi Belliappa?

So today, Ronita Shambaya, I have already written a personal tribute to you earlier. So on your birthday I thought it would be apt to share with you the place we both call home. A large part of it remains because of you girls there and for that I will always be thankful for being blessed with friendships that often exceed sisterhood! Thank you and wishing you oodles of happiness always. It’s an early wish, but comes with so much prayer and hugs!