The Leap Year proposal

Day 94…#100daysofhappiness #100happydays

An ode to ‘Leap Day’ - to live and celebrate!

It’s fascinating to be able to cherish a leap day and have your 100 days in this leap year. What I write now, will be revisited 4 years later, so this makes this memory far more exciting. A tradition of the past, one that not many people know about, but a leap day was a day attributed to women once in 4 years (the last day of the shortest month in a leap year), to have the liberty to propose to a man they choose to woo. Marking my 10th anniversary this year, I find this tradition thrilling and hence choose to revive this tradition of proposing to the man who makes my heart dance with every little beat! Fairy tales are unreal and am, glad mine is not one. So on this day, February 29, 2016, cheers to ‘real marriages’ that are far more fun with adventure and learning, surprises that can make you teary eyed, moments that hold you for life, seeming imperfections that become romantic and acceptance to love in any shape or size.

As life gets more complex and decisions that may make us frown, I want to cherish and learn with every passing day, the meaning of companionship and friendship in marriage. I know there is no one else who can exemplify this better than you. We have our dreams, and we support each other. We take risks knowing that we are by each other’s side. We may get judged by everyone around us, but we know that our hearts are in the right place for the right reasons. As husband and wife, we stand united, for decades to come and in my silent prayer, for several lifetimes too. We may seem equally impossible to be around in one second, but difficult to be without too.

To our relationship, I bring madness, while you balance it with stability. I bring the vibrance, while you coat it with calmness. I bring the celebration, while you bring the meaning. I bring the words to express, while your hugs seem to impress. I dream of holidays and you are the wind beneath my wings. I bring smiles which you convert to endless happiness. After 10 years, we have grown together to love, respect and cherish. We didn’t make any vows on paper, but our prayers have inscribed them to eternity. We have redefined romance and quality time, and have found our minds opening the same pages of the book. We attempt surprises knowing the other has guessed our plan. We are a couple, but we know our space as individuals. We are parents, but we are friends first. We are not experts, and learning the ropes together with heaps of laughter. We have philosophies together and apart, which makes our journey exceptional and adventurous. We have had our share of challenges and testing times, but together it seemed like a breeze. I am sure we will have many more hardships in the future too, but in anticipation I look forward to making memories that will matter. I am glad we are not a perfect couple, but a couple that loves, accepts, cherishes, honors, jokes, annoys, makes mistakes and learns.

I have had my experiences, loved and laughed, hurt and cried, but with every moment I learnt more about what my perfect relationship would be. At a time when friends chose their own companions, I believed in the blessing of my family and the rationale of my mentor – my mother, who perfected my dreams of my ideal man! Grateful and with love, I smile in gratitude and pride, that the father to my kids, understands the worthiness of our entire family.

I can spin more words in perfecting this proposal, but I thought it was best captured in the words of Robert Bowning,
“Growing old with me!
The best is yet to be.
The last of life, for which the first was made.”
Till Eternity!

Neerja Bhanot.. bravery in the air!

Day 93.. #100daysofhappiness #100happydays

Tears were flowing uncontrollably and I almost thought that I would bawl. People around me were choking on emotion and I was sure that everyone was grateful it was dark and no one was visible. It was not just tears, but smiles too. It was not the filmy bollywood entertainment from any angle, but had a story that had to be told. Thankfully, it was a story that was narrated in perfection, had the impact that it deserved and left the audience, heart broken and motivated all in those couple of hours. While it inspired many even for a couple of seconds, it was a meaningful cinematic experience and a biopic that is lasting. My 100 days has tributes of people or experiences that are meaningful in my lifetime, so this definitely fits the criteria... a true story from my lifetime, when I was 6 years old. So here’s to Neerja – the brave heart who ruled hearts in silence.

This true story took place in 1986. At that time, I definitely have no recollection of this episode and perhaps wouldn’t have known about her, if not for this film. She is an award winner, recognized at her time, but seemingly had faded away. Unfortunately in our society, film stars, actors, sportspersons and such celebrities have a lifetime of recognition that many perhaps hardly deserve. Truth be told, I am a bollywood buff, so I look for drama, emotion, humor, love stories and more. There are perhaps many stories that have impressed me, but this story had the reflection of truth that was acknowledged, thought processes that was respected and courage that is mostly only spoken about. With the essence intact, the film has its share of stretches with subtle romance, the Rajesh Khanna dialogue saga and more. But even these stretches had more meaning that made the film noteworthy.  This film got me to read further on the real Neerja and her life. A lot of the story is narrated in accuracy which makes the true Neerja more intriguing. She was a model and an airhostess whose life could have been about fun, glamour and the charms of the world. But one instance of destiny, without thinking of herself, she chose to be the ‘light in the darkness.’ Battling terrorism has been a saga that has given rise to many heroes, that I can admire, but Neerja did it with a way that strung the right chord in my heart. Her act did not stop terrorism or start a revolution, but the lives she saved have left generations grateful for saving their legacies.

In the last few days, since the release of the film, I have come across many reviews raving the story, speaking on life lessons and its greatness. There have been parallels about the lessons we need to teach our daughters too. In agreement with all views, I am compelled to believe that teaching my daughters about honesty, bravery, selfless acts and respect, will probably be thebest philosophy I can hand down. In a society where, people hardly are willing to be selfless for their own family and friends, creating an expectation of selflessness for the country, makes it a hard bargain. It is a Defense oath, which is executed in sincerity, but when will it reach the masses. The mass ideology is centered on the same philosophy that Shabana Azmi advises her daughter, “When in a situation of trouble, run for your life and save it!” Neerja’s father imparted lessons that if practiced in our society, we will have more unity than what we credit our country for.

At just 23 years, Neerja reflected so many aspects that every woman should epitomize. Standing true to one’s belief and not bearing injustice in the name of society’s expectation of marriage is such a large lesson. Bravery in the most trying times without foregoing duty is crucial, which perhaps not everyone gets the opportunity to excel at such a large level but must be carried out in their own small ways. Lastly the ability to calm the mind even when the heart flutters in fear, will give you the confidence to look at trouble in the eyes and face it with assurance. It reinstates the importance of living a large life than a long one. It’s a strength that cannot be taught or preached, but a practice that will lead to perfection.

Sonam Kapoor did a great job as Neerja Bhanot and introduced me to this ‘woman of substance’, but I am in awe of the actual hero, as there is something in her eyes that can tell you a full story! I am privileged to have been told about Neerja Bhanot. I do hope you find your woman of valor who can inspire you in more ways than can be penned down!

So much to love.. Valentines Day!

Day 91…#100daysofhappiness #100happydays

The best words I have read have been by her, so starting my Valentines Day post is justified if I quote her. Maya Angelou, the American Author and Poet once said, “If you have only one smile to give, give it to the people you love.”  So on this day, I smile at the ones who love friendship, innocence, care, respect and honesty. I smile at the family I am born to, married to and friends who became family. So here’s to celebrations that matter for hearts that care!

With my history of celebration, naturally Valentines Day has always been a high. From the longest time I remember celebrating and wishing mom, because my honest belief is, since it’s the day of love, then wish everyone you love! After meeting Arya, I remember our first Valentines’ was before we got married. He had sensed my ‘paw’fection being so strong that he had gifted me our loving Fawn – a heartwarming basset hound. The concerned mum and in laws smiled, cherished and supported this gesture. Her eyes had everything her heart meant. To this day, it’s been 10 years and she lives in our hearts. I know for a fact that pets were not strongly voted for at that point of time, but the love they all showed in caring for that little wonder was an assurance of my perfect Valentines Day!

Every year its celebrations galore with the fancy meals, gifts, flowers and perhaps holidays. With every passing year, definitions have changed but sentiments remain the same. Over the years I would have probably raved about the diamond ring that was gifted to me or the words of assurance that keep my spirits high everyday. But ten years later and with two kids, we probably don’t believe that loving our loved ones is dependant on one day. Inspite of this sentiment, we will still find means to create an occasion and build up to this celebration. We will have priorities that may need us to be in different locations on this particular day, but our hearts ring the same music and we dance the same tunes. It is one of the best feelings in the world, knowing that your presence and absence both mean something to someone.

So reeling in this excitement to this date, we celebrate in simplicity but with little joys, the wonderful surprises through gifts that now reflect our personality than the value of your wallet, which makes it more valuable, knowing that you are understood. The meals are perhaps not elaborate but stolen moments from the hectic routine in that new restaurant that is perhaps a few feet away from home, making it precious with conversations that are real. In my philosophy of celebrations with all, our visits to the mall have as much thrill as any other. So for me its been a wonderful Valentines Week with Arya, Mum, cousins and friends!

On this day, when everyone is out planning their romantic do, I was thrilled to be sitting in a restaurant with my kids and see tables surrounding us with fathers and kids or mums and kids and no couples looking for any quiet time. In case you wondering, this is not a Mc Donald’s or a KFC, it’s a wonderful Chinese family restaurant where the celebrations were unanimous and the theme almost seemed planned. Each table smiled at the other in understanding and no one quirked with kids playing their own games or having a mad moment with their mums or dads at the table. In all its coincidence it seemed perfect! What made it extra special was me spending the Valentines lunch with my two lovely kids, who have a little of everyone I love – and that’s what made our celebration complete – It was an almost perfect family moment!

Over the years, my family circle always seems to grow, not just by blood or relatives but by the depth of friendships. It’s known that family is not always blood. It’s the people in your life, who want you in theirs, the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what. So it’s a perfect day to wish everyone in this wonderful circle a fabulous Valentines Day and may every day be as memorable and loving as it’s meant to be on Feb 14.

Blending tradition - I have no regrets

Day 90…‪#‎100daysofhappiness‬ ‪#‎100happydays‬

A parent’s nightmare is attempting to make the right decisions and then feel grateful for the choices made. Well, my learning curve has been adventurous, but the choice of schools for both my girls is undeniably 100% the best choice for my kids. It’s not a trendy and modern international school, neither is it a new age open concept school. With my ideologies set in traditional methods, I was thrilled that my kids have been to schools that conform to these ideologies. Advertorials and surveys have probably said enough on the ranking of the school pan India, but that is not my priority. Opting for my Alma Mater would have been an option, but in my mind I was clear that I wanted blend ‘Incredible India’ with a global mind and that equation is achieved here in perfection!

I love the fact that the schools blend modern with tradition; Indian with global, academics balances extra curricular and national sports achievers are beyond my count from the junior school level. If there is the Bhagavad Gita, Kathak and Yoga on one side, there is western music and dance on the other. Monthly charity engagements for the kids have them aware of needs and wants. Sentiments and relationships are recognized in much grandeur with little celebrations like Grandparents day embarking on creativity and entertainment. With an ongoing project based approach, the blend of practical and theory makes the kids a lot more confident. Opportunities for presentations, assembly performances, theme related displays, have made the stage shy into stage warriors. Concern areas are addressed with such care and without the child sensing the change. The transport system is not an air conditioned van; instead it’s a large BMTC bus, with a dedicated driver and conductor, steered by a teacher on duty. The charm of the bus ride, with the many kids, just adds to their fascination- all within safety standards! The parent’s community is enthusiastic, appreciative and co-operative, which makes all our interactions enduring and supportive, with the active use of watsapp!

The kids are aware of technology and developments but remain grounded on age related expectations. There is simplicity and playfulness which may often seem ‘less stylish’ for other kids, but it relieves me that make up, mobiles, fashion are not the centre of their lives. They have humility, concern, an attitude to share, never ending affection, they have their moments of demands, tantrums and indulgences, but nothing different from what we grew up with. I love the fact, that normalcy makes them special. Backing their approach in school, as a parent, I am thrilled, that I have a say in their work, experience their learning and approaches along with them, engage in projects that often seem complex for the young minds, which we tend to undermine. So the environment and social issues are topics that are never too early to adapt.

I am a happy mamma, and what makes me happier is that going to school for my kids is not a routine, it’s an excitement! Most of you have gathered my choice of domains that shape my 100 days project, so this is another facet to the choices I made, that feature in my 100 days. It’s not a journalistic attempt to negate anybody else’s preferences! Well if you think this is an advertorial, definitely not! It’s the gratitude for listening to my heart and not going by a fad.