Coorg with love!

It's been 10 years and every summer we have our holidays planned with my in laws.. with each time more to learn, unwind, more memories and days well spent. There is charm and warmth with open conversations .. that are heartfelt and joyous.. often the best. There are definitely the occasional debates which just broaden my thought process every time. With an abundance of lush green, clear air, plenty of walks, lip smacking food, sleep indulgence, soul conversations, entertained kids with childhood treasures like tree climbing, some rustic kung fu, running games, skating, going wild with massages, ducks, dogs and cats, preview of culture and tradition, visits that keep you real and that carefully planned fun family picnic that adds to my memory book... I think I just described a fabulous vacation which we just came back from.... with perfect weather too! Hope you had as much fun as we did! While I have some weight to shed now.. it seemed a worthy gain!

Tip: our picnic to Irupu falls was magical as we soaked under the falls.. the water was just enough for our family playtime and what made it perfect is it was such a private time with the whole crowd clearing out in anticipation of the rain. We definitely got lucky.. but definitely recommend visiting this plc when water is less too.. it has a different charm. Also if you do pack an elaborate picnic lunch like we did look for that awesome banyan tree away from the entrance amidst the fields to bask under and indulge in true picnic style away from the crazy crowd. If your family is as loving, dependable, non fuss and full of madnesss as mine then an awesome time is guaranteed.

Thank you Aditya Nanjappa Appanna Adengada Deepak Poovaiah for all your patience and fun. We are definitely not an easy gang but you guys make it always so simple.. we missed you Karthik Kuttappa. The 3 ladies always surprise me with their zest for fun and laughter. Lets begin our plan for Oct 😉

Day 99 and counting!

Day 99...‪#‎100daysofhappiness‬ ‪#‎100happydays‬
Long post alert - do read till the end! A thank you!

Oprah Winfrey once said “The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more in life there is to celebrate”. As most of you know the girl’s birthdays were celebrated together with our theme galas in January and in May we do something more meaningful yet memorable, that will always make them understand that celebrations are of many variants.

As Tamara turned 8 yesterday, we saw the day unfold in so many ways that we could not help being thrilled and blessed. As a family we did the morning routines of cake, balloons, hand made cards, small gifts, new clothes and more blessings. Thereafter, I was pleasantly surprised seeing the initiative of Tamara’s 5 best buddies in the apartment, who had planned to the last T- a creative and fun surprise party for her by the pool side…In case you are wondering what are the ingredients to a fun surprise birthday party, we can learn a few pointers from these 7 to 10 year old’s – blind folding the birthday girl, setting up a picnic spot with handmade crafty decorative, hand made cards, home made cake decorated and designed, chocolates, water to sip, tissues for the tidy up and keepsake novelty hand made gifts all energized by the roaring and enthusiastic surprise scream as the birthday girl arrived at the spot. She definitely did not expect it and had her heart melting. There was simplicity yet magic and a moment of feeling blessed.

Mother Teresa once said, “We cannot all do great things but we can do small things with great love and together we can do something wonderful”. While all this cheer had our hearts dancing, we were getting ready to celebrate and hope to do a small thing with great love. In all honesty, I was nervous and perhaps an overly concerned mother. While I had planned for the girls to celebrate this occasion in an orphanage, I honestly hoped to find a place that would leave a happy taste for both the T’s as this was their first experience and I wanted to ensure they found reason enough to want to go back for more such interactions. With this thought, my concern as a citizen aiming to do social good does not justify but as a mother I think it does. Thankfully with a after various recommendations, we opted for Home of Faith (Thank you Revathy Krishna Kumar) in Kothanur. Its home to 40 kids (both girls and boys) from 4 years to 18 years. It’s a registered trust but not a home which places the kids up for adoption. They are not the kinds who receive funds from all over the world or any missionaries. They thrive on themselves or close well wishers. It’s not a large establishment. It’s a house that facilitates responsibility and humanity, a large family bonding, love, and joys in small things. It’s a happy place that makes you want to come back for more! So here’s the grandest part. It’s run by a couple (he was a chemistry/ biology teacher in a reputed school previously), who bring up all the kids along with their own 3 and seem to just not differentiate. They are all educated, taken care of, loved and shown greater values. While education is one aspect, they also strive to give them more meaning and reason to aspire for greater things. Hobbies, instruments, summer school, special schooling for slow learners are all inclusions that each child gets exposure to here reminding us that no one is less privileged. The education institution gives this couple a marginal deduction to the fees of each child, but still seems like an expensive proposition in my eyes. The power of language with ‘the right English’ has not been left behind here, with each child speaking accurately, an area that both T’s initially thought would be a hindrance for them to interact owing to their limitations with kannada. There is just talent and hard work, channelising the effort is upto us!

We were welcomed with such openness, balloons of festivity, smiles and warm hello’s. The cakes were cut, cheered by the birthday song. As the kids all parted their responsibilities and shared the cake with everyone, I sensed an odd feeling of being treated as ‘VIP guests’. Clearly, I did not want my kids to get an isolated experience feeling more privileged there. Realizing that we just needed an ice breaker, I decided to conduct games with all the kids… games that made noise, had madness and loud laughter. Sure enough, before I knew it, the kids had blended in, there was excitement and they did not want to leave. Delicious lunch was served and all kids sat together and ate. It was time to leave and we definitely want to go back again, but what made it more convincing were the words of a young girl Divya. “Do visit us again”, is what she says that rings in my heart. With an experience this positive, I am now ready to introduce them to many other areas that probably will require more compassion from both my girls, but in time I know they will build that too!

As army kids, we have grown up learning our P’s and Q’s, wishing all our elders, acknowledging passing aunts and uncles’ and more. So much is missing in this generation, that in-spite of promising schools that soak more fees than worthy, or repeated reminders by parents, so many aspects are just not considered important to most kids these days. On the same note, the kids from slums who come for education support to our apartment or these children at the orphanages show more decorum and manners. It’s a small thing, but large enough to make well rounded individuals. Tomorrow the uber cool ‘highly educated’ kids will probably be successful in their careers but not so much as ‘human beings’ as compared to the others who have understood these life lessons in close proximity and value relationships more! This is something, we as parents need to understand a lot more and not pass it off as a ‘parental challenge joke’, cause when the time comes, and we will not be laughing!

After a fruitful celebration, we had an impromptu ‘cake in the park’ time with all the park kids and some parents singing as we cut and shared a cake. Even with a cake over dose, the day was lined with people who cared with all their heart and that made it special. Abraham Lincoln quoted “Its not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years”. With days like this, we are definitely seeing only life in our years. Tamara and Tanaaya had a truly memorable day and we thank you all for making it special with all your blessings and wishes. I am glad we have established this new family tradition of 2 part celebrations (in January and May). Mom and Arya have supported this tradition with so much gratitude and now the kids are excited to embrace it too! So here’s to new beginnings, milestones that matter, making a difference and appreciating lives beyond our hectic schedules!

With the big 100 round the corner, I want to thank the people who have given me all the reason to embark on this journey of relationships, moments and everything happy in my 100 days. Thank you Nimmi Belliappa for being the 'perfect mum and best friend, making this journey of 100 days with me at every step, sometimes showing me the impossible and most times teaching me all the way. I have learnt being unconditional, strong and independent from her, and that has been my biggest life lesson. In so many ways we are similar and different, but she is the force that keeps me together. Thank you Arya Ganapathy for making every day of 10 years count and as we look forward to many decades ahead. We can drive each other nuts yet hold each other like no one else can. We have a life to build and time is always going to be an issue, but am happy, we know what matters to both of us! Lastly my two T's who are everything my world is about, who make me look good on my worst days and love me no matter how horrifying I might get. They teach me innocence and true value every day!

Thank you all the folks, who have been part of my 100 days, either featured or as readers, who have not opposed my thought of acknowledging people who matter to me on a social platform and for describing my observations on them. As readers, you all have been very supportive and encouraging without whom I would not have been able to come this far. Thank you! The big 100 will be up soon and thereafter I have to gather a new literary journey! Until the next post!

So here's to people who can make a difference, just the way they have made in mine!

Everything Mother's Day is about!

Everything Mother's Day is about. . With love 

Woke up this morning to so much love hugs and uncontrollable kisses by both my munchkins as they jumped and hugged to wish me on this mother's day. As i sat and held them both my mind raced a flashback to the last 8 years and ever since I smiled at what has transpired.

The news came positive on my birthday in 2007... we were all ecstatic. A baby was coming.. and a new mom was to be born in May 2008. While I enjoyed my pregnancy I had not attained any level of selflessness, though in time I had to perfect that. It was a scary thought. The day had arrived and the exhausting labor gave us a beautiful baby girl .. who everyone exclaimed didn't look like a monkey baby like most new born. I held that Lil baby thinking the toughest is over with the labour pain now comes the easy part. I looked at her long enough hoping to get an instant connection and tear down in emotion just the way the movies have shown this moment. But to my horror I had no connection. .. I was the milk machine and she was the receiver. As troubling as that sounds.. after 2 months of struggling and crying for lack of emotion.. the day arrived when she held my finger looked at my eyes and I knew there was no looking back. My heart skipped a beat and chose to shadow the baby from there on. I had become a mother..late for many but attached for life. That journey began in 2008 and got stronger as I battled a crisis to become a 2nd time mum ... this time I yearned for my baby from her first second but destiny had a different pattern and the wait was testing but worth it . Second time again... but a stronger mum this time I was prepared to have my heart running with both the angels. We have had our limitations but our love has been unending. We have seen joy, celebration, sadness, pain, anger, struggle and hope and has built each of us as rounded human beings. 

I am a friend and disciplinarian. I hold them close and probably can over protect but I also know where they need less of me. They might test me many times but motherhood has also given me the power of patience in the same note. The endless demands may exhaust me out but I also know they will never be this way again. My temper is at its peak at one moment and am in splits the next... which is possible only with their innocence, unconditional love and softness. Selflessness was not just a term anymore it was a relationship. I am a doting mom who doesn't get embarrassed to hope for me time along the way cause i know my rejuvenation will keep our relationships intact. Someone close today happened to cite an astrological trivia about how names ending with a tend to be more successful while names ending with I or any other are not as successful. While I disagree with this theory .. it is still safe to say that my mum n me both with names ending with I are definitely successful mums.. now that is a true accomplishment to share with anyone who brings such a blind theory to an educated audience.

Through all my years I had been privileged to have a best friend and mother in one person... my mom.. and now it was time I reflected on everything she perfected and learnt everyday. While routines and schedules repeat there is so much to learn everyday that I may never be an expert parent. Trust, care, share, encourage, smile endlessly, hope, dream, pray, letting go are more philosophies I learnt along the way. So as a mother I have had an enriching experience as I become a teacher and student every day. I have seen my mum unconditionally love and be our pillar of strength no matter what. She has seen the worst but not let anyone or anything dampen her hope for life and that is something I want to hold on to. She has patiently helped me through every little battle including my first brush to motherhood. She has embraced grand motherhood in the same zest, love and enthusiasm as she did with motherhood and that makes me wonder how she does that. She teaches me the glory in having madness and sanity in every relationship. We laugh, cry, share, care, hope, remember and explore. We are similar and apart and that's how we complete each other.

On this mothers day, mom I want to thank you with all my love for giving me the best learning's moments of laughter, deepest philosophies and showing me reasons to care. Your bigheartedness is such an inspiration that generosity should be a mantra everywhere. I look forward to being your shadow the way you have been mine. I can never perfect motherhood like you but I can make my own version too with some mistakes along the way. I look forward to 'our time' together and shaping new memories. The kids are lucky to have you by their side giving them lessons that I may never be able to impart in such a fun way.

As Maya Angelou quoted..'to describe my mother would be like to write about a hurricane in its perfect power or the climbing, falling of rainbow colors.'.. hence describing my perfect mum cannot be aptly worded but in gist you get the sentiment. My mum is everything I would like to be.. much luv n hugs mom on mother's day.

Everything I hoped for!

She is the reason I was privileged with the title of motherhood. Its been 8 years and such a memorable journey.  She is all I hoped for.. though has grown faster than I wanted.

Tamara.. our first princess turns 8. In so many ways she teaches me and keeps me real. I tend to be protective with her as her softness can often be misunderstood. A curt remark at her or anyone she cares about and tears are bound to flow...While I worry at times, I am happy she will remain real, true and hearty in every relationship. She is sensitive but life will make this her biggest strength. She knows the meaning of bonds and loves with all her heart. She knows diplomacy.

She races with passion in sport and dance. She has her reservations and is conservative in some facets.... an area I am often confused about. She has her own sense of fashion.. probably not everything i agree with but i respect her choice as an individual even if she is young... she is entitled to her views and opinions. She has seen me at my worst but does everything to keep my best. She holds in assurance and with meaning. She grows in mind and body with  the purity and innocence that I hope to always nurture.

She is a protective daughter, loving grand daughter and a doting sister. She blends with ease with older kids and a responsible playmate to younger ones. With her mind ready to explore new games... age is of no consequence in the company of kids. Books have not really lured her yet...but dance and music has her heart beating. She writes with warmth and beauty. She is impressionable but also adaptable. She grows gracefully and always reminds me of how miracles happen. She has had the maximum injuries but I love the strength she builds with each fall. She is patient and loves to be treated with patience. She sees my eyes and knows if my heart smiles. She has a ready hand yearning to help.

Today on her birthday... I am beaming with pride about a daughter who teaches me everyday. I do hope I can always be her mother and friend walking by her side, even as she may opt for the road less travelled too. I hope she always has the strength to be beautiful at heart and the passion to fearlessly follow her dreams.