Is time really a healer?

Day 61... In remembrance with a smile.


I have heard so many people condole on the loss of a loved one..with the infamous statement 'time is a healer'. So today I want to put this myth to rest as well before any more emotional blunders can arise.
Its been 16 years and time has stood still for us.. time is not a healer, but yes it gives us strength to be graceful about it, we will always cry, but now its not just for sadness but even while we walk down memory lane. We will learn to smile at the most challenging situations because somehow nothing in life is bigger than this. We will value the people around us a lot more and cherish every passing moment. While many times we would want to say "I wish, he was here today", we will always try to be grateful for the time together. He will always be my 'is' in conversations, while others will refer to him as 'was'. When circumstances force us to question our faith in God and religion, we hold our heart and he becomes our angel of guidance.
Back then in 1999 it was Father's day on June 20th. I lost my father that day but lucky to have him in my heart for life. We celebrated in madness and cried in fury, all in one day. Its strange to have so many strong emotions all in a day.
We have come a long way and now we see so many shades of him in not just me but my kids too.. always reminding us that strange are the ways of life.. we experience our loved ones in so many ways and in so many relationships- old and new!

It was Father's Day on June 20, 1999... so looking back I will always smile in sadness as I bid farewell to a man who lived on his terms. He was undeniably a big influence to me in my 18 years after which Nimmi Belliappa mum held the mantle of being my mum, dad and best friend... not an easy task but she did it with perfection and today is my forever idol.
A scroll of words drafted and gifted to my dad...there was a strange gleam of recovery he showed that morning.. a hope I wished came true.. but destiny had other plans and it was time to bid adeau to my dad.. not our relationship, not our memories and always have promises made in my heart.. that I had been entrusted with.. ... There was deep sadness in the heart but unwillingness to lose my strength for fear of not being able to support the family I have with me. There will always be a question... have I cried enough but always the comforting thought that I hold him in my heart every day....
Every year Father's day is on the 3rd sunday of June..which will be the day my kids will cherish with memories of fondness with the father of my children.. but for me father 's day will always be June 20... if ever the day coincides again.. I will not smile in sadness but rejoice the morning that was on June 20, 1999.

happy father's day Daddy... you are loved everyday! Mommy happy father's day to you for perfecting a dual role as we continue to learn the nuances of our parenting sagas.

With love...
So here's to remembering the dad who cared and shared, smiled and tried for every day that I have known him. With love always..Happy Father's Day Daddy!

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