For my children!

Day 82 ..‪#‎100happydays‬ ‪#‎100daysofhappiness‬ – Children’s day saga 

After a hectic day with the kids, soaking in the excitement of Children’s day, I lay in bed and cherished that moment where they snuggled with me, their quick I love you followed by the line that melts all my exhaustion “Mamma every time I want you only to be my Mamma”, and somehow this comes to their mind on their own. Misty eyed I hug them and want that moment to just stand still. I find myself battling with the fear that they grow so quickly and there may be a day when they will not require me as much. Will they idolize me the way I idolize my mother? Definitely not, as my journey is a learning wheel everyday. I cherish that they find the love and admiration to appreciate my smallest gestures even when I am unable to perfect my culinary skills. I am fascinated when they feel the best moments with them have been a simple game of chase around the house or perhaps hide and seek. Our uncontrollable laughter’s over silly jokes become a feature in their special journal. They have seen me at my worst and angry best, but they never judge me and that gives me more responsibility. They worry seeing my not so bright expression, even as I battle to smile with all my might on some days. While we all will learn and evolve together, I will be blessed if along the way, I can be their best friend and mother all in one heartbeat.

On Children’s day, my 20 point philosophy will guide my kids in this fascinating journey of life!

• Innocence and childhood are often short-lived, but the secret is to keep it alive at any stage of your life and have fun.
• It’s beautiful to feel like a princess as long as you know that only you will have to save yourself and not any prince.
• Idols are great inspirations, but ensure you choose your idol that epitomizes character, integrity, reality, self worth and humility. Your idol may not be a celebrity or anyone famous but if you can admire them enough to aspire for their zeal for life, then you are on the right path supported by your own vision.
• While you bask in that dream, always stay grounded in your values, humility, self confidence and self respect.
• Give yourself wings to fly but don’t forget about your loved ones. It’s great to be ambitious and successful but pointless if you have no one to share these achievements with.
• Discipline is important but see life through a creative and passionate lens, as only your heart will unfold the best opportunities.
• Savor every second and live life like there is no tomorrow
• It’s fabulous to be sentimental and always connected to your emotions. In case being practical is your approach, then life will almost always seem easier to accept and cherish.
• I may ‘almost always’ over clad you in my maternal worries often tampering with your fashion statement. Let the heart strike the perfect fashion chord and your clothes simply reflect your attitude. As you grow you will explore your own signature, but until then let me be your guardian angel.
• You will have choices to make, but ensure you take responsibility of these choices.
• Academics are great but balance it with extra curricular in the same stride.
• You may not always get to lead, but when you do, lead in belief. In case you follow then always remember that the shadow of support has more worth than most people understand.
• No matter what the situation is, only truth will thrive.
• Care with all your heart, but be strong enough to nurse a broken heart too
• Times have changed and so have experiences between your time and mine, but our values remain the same with every passing generation.
• The world is not such a safe place any more but living in fear will shorten your life further.
• There are many traditions that you may want to oppose or break away from, but while you do that ensure you have full knowledge of the tradition and can react in rationale than impulse.
• Money is important, but not a factor to determine the course of your life and your actions.
• Being selfless is not attaining perfection, so cherish life and make it meaningful.
• Generosity and sharing cannot be forced but definitely nurtured. Make it a way of life, then the effort will not arise.

My thoughts and ideals are not promises, neither are they lessons. They are my humble learning’s that I have been fortunate to explore. While you both will have your own discoveries and mistakes, I do hope these can ease your ‘adventures of life in an imperfect world’.

On Children’s Day, as a parent, I vow that I do not want to perfect my children, but just want to perfect my relationship with them.

Festival of lights, not sound and smoke!

My words reach you and I am thrilled,
so here's a plea that we must build,
Loving words that I will share,
Heartfelt and true, with all my care.
Festivities are here, celebrations are many,
Smile from your heart, not with your penny.
Prayers, sweets, lamps and cheer,
Reduce crackers and chase the fear.
Our animals are sad, on our happy day,
That's not a fair celebration, in any way.
If not just animals you choose to care,
Remember the smoke is here to dare.
Our little kids, will grow up too,
With more heart aches and memories being few.
So family and friends far and wide,
With love and smiles, lets all abide!

Have a bright and cheerful Diwali! 

Return If Possible!

Day 81.. ‪#‎100happydays‬ ‪#‎100daysofhappines‬ In sadness yet we smile!

We grew like twins, my rock forever. We amused each other and protected endlessly. We cherished and lived like there was no tomorrow and am glad that's what we did. It was short, but fulfilling to think, that you made life count, without regrets and touched hearts in more ways than I can ever imagine. Today, we are surrounded by people whom you cared for and is overwhelming to hear the emotions that string so many stories. In a moment the world changed for us, but time stood still and with every passing day, as we continue to build memories, we are thrilled that you live with us in our hearts to see so many milestones!

A thousand words wont bring you back, I know because I tried,
A thousand tears wont bring you back, I know because I cried!
- Kily Dunbar

Eleven years have passed, you are a memory for many even before Facebook had memory timelines. I have said it before and say it again, you will always be my 'today' everyday! We have grown from black and white to color, but in my heart I want to hold on to the 'endlessness' we shared in black and white.

While I will always be grateful for our time together, I know I am just being human when I say... I wish you were here. I read this somewhere and found it apt. It said "RIP means Rest In Peace" though my heart says "Return If Possible".

Every day we learn something new
We cherish and believe it all to be true
You taught me about hope and cheer
To live happily without fear!
In my heart you shine every day
Every second that's what I pray
So much of you I see in my kids today
Wish you could meet them and play.

I normally celebrate life in my posts and will continue to do that. But today felt like a break day, when you just feel its fine to just hope!

So here's to loving, living, losing and believing that with every passing day life teaches us more, but we always find the strength in what and who we are taking along! For a brother, another year gone by, holding your hands and smiling everyday!

Down memory lane in Madikeri

Day 80.. ‪#‎100daysofhappiness‬ ‪#‎100happydays‬

Her eyes lit up as she spoke describing her smallest memories. She became a child again as we entered her town of nostalgia. She soaked in pride as she understood that she had brought 'home' her daughter and grand daughters to her forever home. This place always featured in her must visits while she guided everyone who enquired about Coorg. Then how could we not see her slice of childhood that witness her evolve from an infant through her school and college years till she was married out of this place and became an army wife. She described in joy and we listened in pride. We were honored to see such charm of a place that gave this woman her joy.. The woman I admire and love with all my heart... my mother.

There is always something so charming about history, heritage, stories of an era gone by and so much more. What makes it more enticing is when those stories belong to your mother and you start connecting all the dots that she shared with you recollecting her stories of the time she was growing up.

So had my day yesterday going down memory lane.. three generations comprising my mother, me and my two daughters pacing each location and travelling through time attempting to relive our stories.

You would call it Madikeri but we fondly remember it as Mercara. We have been there so many times before but each time we experience a new sentiment. This time as we drove into this quaint yet bustling town we gathered that just like cities this little town is buzzing too. Shops have gotten bigger and so have the brands. Streets are no longer silent, empty stretches of green lush, where mum used to rush her way through to get to school, before the morning bell. It now houses shops, clusters of homes, traffic and development.

The 5 acre coffee land that housed mums home is now modern without the tiled roof - yet as we stood in front of it, we caught ourselves listening to mum telling us about the house layout, reminiscing about the plantation made by my grandfather, the tree that seemed to be my aunts favorite spot and so much more. We were in awe of my grandfather's planning and forethought as he constructed that house large enough for homing a big family. The famous Gaddige which is the Raja's tomb spot, has evolved from a large playground for their fun evenings of 7 stones, to a beautiful park that the Government is attempting to create and protect. Gardens are laid but weeds are disturbing the well laid plans. Work is in progress so we are hopeful the results will be magical.

We further traced the route towards her school and college to be amused with sprawling campuses. The kids were thrilled to bask in so many stories of their favorite Naanu with curiosity around classes where she studied , the famous tree where she took her breaks amongst others. As we walked down memory lane we didn't forget to stop at the scenic Raja Seat where the gardens were planned by my grandad - the horticulture expert of the yesteryears . In addition we tried to relive innocent pleasures of the struggling toy train which chugs slower than a leisure walk but has the same thrill. Next we treaded to the fort which overlooks the jail which bring up so many possible stories of people there - their crimes, the punishments, their families and their sadness.

As the three generations continued our journey of blessings we drove past the sprawling golf course towards Taj Vivanta where we chanced upon one of the most spectacular visuals - a scenery so calm, yet deep, green yet lush, scenic yet dangerous. Decked high up as we looked down at the valley we applauded development and joy of such large chains like Taj, Mahindras etc who continue to offer the magic of Coorg by complimenting the warmth and hospitality of the charming home stays that have sprawled across Coorg. In this endeavour I was glad that we are part of this tourist revolution with our home stay near Siddapur which will be another story to tell.

So as we cherish our memories I urge you all to escape from modernity and look for the secrets that made our parents the wonderful people that they are. We don't need fairy tales or make believe histories when we have so much to learn from our generations gone by. So don't forget to relive, recreate and imagine while you appreciate simplicity and pure joy. It was our day of magic well spent.

Our dash of cheer

We have a birthday today!

She is our Bengali connection ..who blends both cultures with such grace. She has been in all our moments of celebrations and sadness. She is a fabulous mother, wife, daughter in law, sister in law, aunt, friend and so much more. Sukanya Sen or Minty as we fondly call her, is 'our dash of cheer' in this large family where moods and vibes can swing in any direction. A quick phone call or message is always there on any ocassion. She thrives with enthusiasm and shows her utmost support to moments that need all the mood lifts. She has her worries but knows how to approach life with ease and patience. She seems casual but places importance to relationships. She bonds with ease and radiates in belonging.

She is spontaneous to joke and quick to laugh. Lively and warm.. she is often the heart of our gatherings. She adds to our madness and mingles with charm. With cousins or elders she is adored always.
So on your birthday Minty here s wishing you oodles of love happiness and all the success from the whole cuzz buzz gang who misses you here in Bangalore. Much love n hugs

Bond of togetherness!

Day 79..‪#‎100daysofhappiness‬ ‪#‎100happydays‬

It was a cherishable day 10 years back, meeting him! A tall, charmingly fit, with a calm glance, he sat and waited over coffee, while I rushed in to make my ‘meet the boy’ time! 10 years later, am still grateful that our coffee conversations since that day, have only got better, lengthier, more heartfelt and easier. My post today is about the birthday boy, Arya, who is my husband, friend and every other relationship that is hard to define!

To describe him aptly I may struggle, but I do hope to do justice to define “my bond of togetherness”. He has a calm and patient demeanor, but his mind keeps him restless with ‘what next’. He has aspirations that are motivating and the resilience to pursue his dreams. He understands struggle and builds it with hard work. He juggles the world of IT and e-commerce with the charm of plantations. 

He has ambitions but balances with spirituality. He speaks comfortably on any subject but is passionate about ‘man’ toys like cars, guns and his bar – it’s almost his soothing mantra. Bold in style and different in attire, his fashion sense is remarkable. Organized and detailed, planned to the last ‘p’, he plans with care. Cleanliness driven, he pursues with a single minded focus, that home or office, it’s hard to miss a spot. His chosen silence is often mistakened as arrogance. He understands diplomacy and speaks in comfort.

He loves his experiments in the kitchen and often whips something that makes our taste buds tingle. He fears ‘germs and disease’ that the hand sanitizer has been his doted companion. In care and worry, a hello may be followed by a heartfelt advice like “wash your hands”. He cares with all his heart and worries on matters of health. Fitness is a crucial regime that is marked on his daily routine. While he loves that quota of non veg now and then, he savors his veggies in daily meals with balance and variety. He balances tradition, obligation and expectations in harmony and understands the sensibilities of life. His approach often seems formal, that when he unwinds, he is usually a surprise. He cherishes small joys and makes memories with simple pleasures. He appreciates little thoughts and suggests with care, that complaints get lost in compliments. He battles with work hours, that affect his health sadly, but never complains of the hardships. He does get angry but calms down quickly. He accomplishes significantly but believes in utmost modesty.

He is a doting husband, loving father, good son, son in law, concerned brother and a genuine friend. As a husband, he is my rock. As a father, he balances discipline and fun with care. He has seen life and its many shades, that it has taught him the ‘joy in balance and care’. He loves with all his heart and is cautious for his loved ones. He adapts and embraces change seamlessly that learning with him everyday is such a joy. Our mindsets on so many aspects may be different, but he makes it easy to reach a common ground. He has an open mind and is very supportive of all that matters to me. He loves the joys in new geographies around the world, that seeing them through my eyes fascinates him as well. He is very skeptical about social media but supports my joy in this.

Everyday, as I count my blessings, I am thrilled that we found each other. We can make each other mad and happy all in one breath and that’s what makes our definition of marriage so exciting. So on your birthday Arya, here’s wishing you with all my heart only happiness, love and blessing. I am sure you will always be a modest, genuine and a loving human being. May we always learn from each other and build each other’s dreams. I hope we always find the strength to move ahead together, and teach the kids the values we grew up with. May every birthday be more exciting than the other.

Tea parties for the fabulous childhood album!

Day 78..‪#‎100daysofhappiness‬ ‪#‎100happydays‬

We have all grown in this extremely helpful and sometimes 'too helpful' society where advise, tips are showered in abundance. So when you get married, the tips are handy, but the good news is while dealing with another adult you can always fight and argue your way through. But with motherhood, no one ever tells you the full story till you are soaked in it, and often grappling but still want to appear confident. The arguments and tears are not your weapons here. You have to live up to the expectation, when your kids say - "my mamma knows everything". Those are simple words but strangely pressurizing.

In one household, dealing with 2 different personalities, who are siblings, thankfully sisters, with patterns that are both similar and opposite. Knowing that I am responsible for the way these two lives will shape up, makes my world spin. If one is clear and outspoken, the other is diplomatic. If one is sentimental, the other is practical. If one sobs at my so called 'temper' the other questions in doubt. The ideology of 'done it once will be a breeze the second time', just doesn't apply. If folks say, you have passed the sleepless nights phase, it just gets simpler, then they are hugely mistaken ed. As they are growing, questions are countless, which need to be backed with accurate and thoughtful answers, value system is just getting adjusted, set an example phase has activated and so much more. So while I am still learning the ropes of motherhood everyday, with my quota of impatience and learning, I try to balance and rejoice in their innocence with an occasional tea party (more a juice party) with all their friends and do hope that my kids will always see the value in discipline and fun.

So we had a wonderful time planning together, the menu, arrangements, guest list and activities. The idea was to have a picnic tea party, so balcony had to be the perfect setting. Paucity of space was not going to be a limitation, it just had to be as much fun for all 11 kids! Naturally the menu had all the favorites like cupcakes, strawberry jelly, sandwiches, fryums, cotton candy, popcorn so healthy options were far and few but the good news is - I got busy trying my hand at most of it. Some of the kids brought in some yum, to add to the variety and delicacies, which we relished. The kids enjoyed and that made the entire day absolutely worth it. Watching them play, share, care, rejoice, acknowledge, appreciate and retain that pinch of mischief, teaches us to learn so much in life. As adults we get so absorbed in sometimes several petty issues that the sheer charm and beauty of life is often missed.

These kids are some of their best friends and I am so glad they have each other to grow up with. Each of them come with similar values, backgrounds and ideas, the kind I am thrilled my kids are surrounded by. So while I continue to explore my journey of motherhood with them, I look forward to always bringing in as much as 'fun' as we can in our journey of growing up.
I am thrilled to bring these kids in my 100 days, as even a 3 year old can teach me as much as someone who is 100, so that's what makes life so thrilling. Thank you mums for sending the kids over!