Keeping the family together!

Day 48..‪#‎100daysofhappiness‬ ‪#‎100happydays‬
There is so much controversy surrounding the recent ban on the documentary India’s daughter. While this is disturbing and immediate action must be taken at an individual level, I also find it the right time to acknowledge the men in our lives who drive and are driven by values I appreciate like my dad, brother, husband, brother-in-law and my father-in-law. Today I am relieved that my girls will be growing in this legacy surrounded by men whose values I know are intact and who will always aspire to broaden their mindsets to changing situations- only for the better. Having married into this family, I am happy that he is a father figure and whom I fondly call Maava – my father in law. Today as he turned 63, I find myself looking for the right words to describe him. Tall, fair, handsome, lovely green eyes and smile that has my mother-in-law smitten till date! My friends had become his ardent fans when they set their eyes on him and that is no surprise!

He is a passionate planter with deep scientific ideologies. Highly educated during his time, he has been steering the family reins and ensuring togetherness and fairness! While professional opportunities outside seemed a lucrative option, he devoted his time to family obligations and pursued plantations back in Coorg. Several decades later, I am always amused when he tells me about the plants he has tendered with utmost care. Now his passion, commitment and dedication often find the plants smiling back at him. He has evolved in the spiritual journey from an atheist to a spirited devotee with deep religious insights, which guide him through his actions. He has understood that while he pursues this journey, he respects my views on several topics of debate. This was a welcome change to be able to chat with your father-in-law on subjects that may never see a common point but at least the discussion moves with respect for each other’s opinions. In his earnestness, he might get into a monologue with the listener, not due to lack of opportunity to speak but due to the impact of his conversations.

He is extremely diligent and careful. He often finds me brash and reckless yet cares with such adoration. He finds my love for thrill and adventure an act of craziness but will not hold me back in taking that plunge. He is methodical which will be seen in his everyday lifestyle. He has strong beliefs in wellness and health and is almost like a walking medical dictionary. So you can be sure that the village workforce is often seen collecting medications from him or seeking advice on the road to recovery. While most planters believe that daily wages is the right of the labor, to do what he wants with it, whether it is alcohol, food or both, but Maava has a different ideology. To protect them from the damage of alcohol, he buys the rations and distributes them for their use, ensuring there is some balance in their daily meals. If I have to know how Arya will look at 63, I just have to see my mava. They are fairly identical in not just looks but even in personality.

He is the driving force in keeping the family ‘Adengada’s’ together and performs his societal obligations with utmost dedication. He is quick to extend a helping hand. With a keen eye for detail and meticulous ways, often tasks of documentation are sought by everyone. As a husband (with the luck of love marriage), it’s a treat to watch him with Mavi, caring and being cared, though dependent strives to appear independent. As a father, he has probably had more stress moments than calm having two sons, but his encouragement just fascinates me, how he is never willing to give up. As a father-in-law, I have earned more than I deserved, and for that I am grateful. As a grandfather, watching his eyes glitter when the kids are with him, just makes this journey more eventful and memorable. As a brother, he holds them close yet respects their space. In so many roles, I speak in awe and always look forward to little learning’s from someone with so much experience. He loves my writing and reads each one so this post is a humble tribute to a man I am proud to call my father-in-law. On his birthday today, we wish him a very happy birthday and with all our love always.