My words repeat... so do my sentiments... for a brother I cherish all my life. Celebrating his life on his birthday I speak with joy and sadness but with emotions that teach me everyday...
We smile, we celebrate, we relive moments gone by, we cry, we laugh, we miss, we share, we wish for another chance to have him with us again... Apr 15 is a birthday in our family - my brother s birthday.... Deepak, Deepu or Nany as most of you know him but for me .. my anna. Its been 11 years but for us time stands still ... time is not a healer just gives us enough strength to embrace life with grace and dignity... and under the circumstances I think we did fine...
Today as I look back, I am happy with the time we shared.. our relationship, our bonding had all the perfect ingredients as siblings... I fought - he made peace, I cried - he held me, we shared and cared, we loved and laughed, we were poles apart in our interests but always had a point of mutual comfort, we respected our boundaries yet looked out for each other, agreed to disagree sometimes but the one aspect we always agreed on was to always be mums rock..
With a marginal age difference our growing years seemed like a twin life... we grew with each other, for each other and about each other. We grew in the same patterns of life, entertaining our curiosities, shielding each other, gauging friendships in our parents and respecting boundaries to the parent child relationships.
He was a terrific son, brother, friend with the right persona for the defense services balanced by his passion for golf. He believed sleep was a waste of time so his every second was about 'live life to the fullest'. His love for the wheel and the thrill and ease with which he would clock speeds across long or short distances always had me thrilled. His magnetic personality always had him surrounded by umpteen friends, cousins. .... he was the force that mandate gatherings and reunions during his vacations in Bangalore. He was very generous and always ready to help... so much so we continue to hear from so many folks who share with us the impact he had on their lives and the difference he made...He loved kids and was a natural ice breaker while i used my charm on pets.. so was a pretty winning combination. He believed in excellence, quality and a lifestyle with brands. His love for colors not just in attire also reflected the joy with which he saw life. While stress, tension and getting worked up were my forte's, his mantra for life was calmness and staying stress free.
In this journey, while it was a short life.. it was a life well lived. He is missed more with every passing day as we ponder and imagine him as a husband, father, brother in law and the doting uncle to my daughters who fondly refer to him as mamu.
While destiny has its own choices, we have the joy of seeing so many shades of him in both my kids.
On your birthday... today as you turned 37.. I am thrilled that we have so many memories that we have shared... while the journey was short atleast it was one that mattered and not like so many that lack the true bonding of brothers n sisters. So here s to a perfect brother that made life count in more ways than I can imagine... may I learn to live, love and laugh in as much purity as you did. With love...
We grew like twins, my rock forever. We amused each other and protected endlessly. We cherished and lived like there was no tomorrow and am glad that's what we did. It was short, but fulfilling to think, that you made life count, without regrets and touched hearts in more ways than I can ever imagine. Today, we are surrounded by people whom you cared for and is overwhelming to hear the emotions that string so many stories. In a moment the world changed for us, but time stood still and with every passing day, as we continue to build memories, we are thrilled that you live with us in our hearts to see so many milestones!
A thousand words wont bring you back, I know because I tried,
A thousand tears wont bring you back, I know because I cried!
- Kily Dunbar
Years have passed, you are a memory for many even before Facebook had memory timelines. I have said it before and say it again, you will always be my 'today' everyday! We have grown from black and white to color, but in my heart I want to hold on to the 'endlessness' we shared in black and white.
While I will always be grateful for our time together, I know I am just being human when I say... I wish you were here. I read this somewhere and found it apt. It said "RIP means Rest In Peace" though my heart says "Return If Possible".
Every day we learn something new
We cherish and believe it all to be true
You taught me about hope and cheer
To live happily without fear!
In my heart you shine every day
Every second that's what I pray
So much of you I see in my kids today
Wish you could meet them and play.
So here's to loving, living, losing and believing that with every passing day life teaches us more, but we always find the strength in what and who we are taking along! For a brother, another year gone by, holding your hands and smiling everyday!
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